Been a month!!!

Well, bet you thought I'd either a) met someone b) given up!!!! well, to be honest, a bit of both... :-)
I did meet someone- I went out on a few dates with the "younger" man- only 8 years to be honest. Apparently that makes me a Couger! Not sure whether that makes me happy or not ...
Most of my relationships have been with younger men- even my husband. The biggest age gap was with someone 12 years younger than me- straight after my marriage broke down. It was fun,fast and furious.. and only broke down when a) he hadnt heard of Mrs Robinson b) our memories of our kiddies programmes differed greatly (he hadnt heard of the Magic Roundabout (come on!!!) ) and c) he didnt (dare!) tell hs mum and dad about me... . Joking aside- it was great fun while it lasted and we're good friends now.
My recent dates with Neil were, again, great fun.. but I realised we're at different stages in our life.. he's 34 and looking for something different to me.
So.. hey ho.. back to the drawing board and back on with RAH. I guess I now realise I need to start messaging people (yes...I know I've said this before.. but deep down, I still hoped I'd meet someone "naturally".. but I know now I need a helping hand!)
Let you know how I get on.. and I wont be leaving it a month this time.

In looking to meet "the one"; -
Introduced by mates- tick
Blind dating- tick
Speed dating- cross (but best friend recently experienced!- still a cross)
Singles nights.... NO NO NO
Internet dating- YES- TBA

Been a while!!!!

Dont know where the times going.... had over 50 messages since I started, which is fantastic... and a real mixture of characters, different ages and one lady!!!! dont know how she sneaked through, but she was definately not looking for a female :-)

One had me in stitches... a foreign gentleman looking for, and I quote, "a beautiful ,intellingent, fat lady...". Well, he definately caught my attention with the first two compliments.. but surprisingly, lost me on the third :-) didnt know whether to laugh or cry, but after Id picked myself up off the floor, studied my photo... it was definatley not a close up, and I didnt look that fat :-)

On a more serious note though, re-read his and a couple of others, and they werent really addressed to me, and one's interests didnt match mine, and wouldnt have, even on a cold day in hell. Guess they'd sent the same message to a number of ladies. One had sent me a message- hilarious- it was obvious he'd had a few..and he'd sent it at 1-00 in the morning- and a bit frisky :-). Guess that shows how many people are out there looking for love. I've sent a couple of messages to more local men, but not had any responses ...yet...

There's one really positive thing thats come out of me joining the dating site- its made me much more confident about myself.... I'm going to my first "singles night" on Friday, I've signed up for speed dating.. and last week flirted outrageously with a man 9 years younger than me -whey hey!!! Am seeing him at a quiz night this week , and apparently he's interested.. but we'll see eh...

Refreshed ......

Well, just a quick entry this week, as I only got back from Amsterdam yesterday and not really much to update on.
Only really wanted to say that Im feeling much more positive about the dating than I was last week, and after reading my last blog entry, I definately needed a kick up the ass;-)

Back from the "Dam" feeling refreshed and revitalised after having a really good fun weekend with my mates.

Met loads of people and even practiced my flirting skills... sadly lacking over the last year!

Had a couple of messages when I got back.. both of which I've replied too as they've both got friendly faces and twinkly eyes :-)

xx

Mmmm! a bit down and then an up!

Well, I left it a week before updating my blog........

Its been a strange 7 days- a bit up and a bit down. I posted my photo and waited to see if Richard messaged me... and waited... and waited....

No message.

And he had viewed it because the site shows who has viewed your profile

Felt quite deflated to be honest.. it took me a while to build up the confidence to put my photo on the site-and I felt quite vulnerable because showing your photo "lays you bare". You can put a profile on, and have a laugh and a joke, but you still have that annonimity and can hide behind the faceless image. My initial reaction was that I must be ugly, or too big (all the insecurities that men and women share if they face "rejection"). Anyway.. after feeling sorry for myself for a couple of days and wondering whether being on the site was doing me any good or not... I had a chat with a male colleague at work. He's known me since we were teenagers.. and he gave me a real telling off (and a confidence boost too!!)

He said.. how did I know that Richard had looked at my photo and thought I was too ugly or big!!! He could have looked at my photo and thought;

a) she's put her photo on, so she's not that into me and looking for other "contact"

or

b) she's out of my league (after all.. he hasnt put a photo on either!!!!)

or

c) he just didnt find me attractive.. after all, as he said, I dont fancy every man I know GOOD POINT IAN!

Anyway... he made me laugh as he said I had "body dismorphia" (I think thats how you spell it :-)) and that in no way was I "big" and in no way was I unattractive.. and that I needed to get a grip.. and where was the confident woman he knew at work and socially.

He was right....

And then I had a couple of winks, and one message- and to be honest (and here's the irony), they weren't my type- not just looks, but also their interests, and outlook. I felt bad, but I didnt answer any of them- not because I was rude, but because Im beginning to understand the rules of dating sites;

1.NOT everyone replies to a wink or a message

2. That doesnt make you a bad person

So, Im off on a hen weekend (second marriage :-~) to Amsterdam this weekend and when I get back, I'M going to have a look at profiles and I'M going to message a couple of men (I've set myself a target of 10!!!!)

If you sit back and wait for life to knock on door, chances are it "aint gonna happen" (unless you're extremely lucky), so Im going to knock on a few doors myself

Internet dating is certainly character building!!!!